As media outlets allege that the ‘racial slur’ Sam Kerr is accused of calling a UK cop was actually just ‘stupid white bastard’, the entire country of Australia now completely understands why the stupid bastards at the UK police didn’t want the so-called ‘slur’ to be made public knowledge.

With this leaked information, many have felt a complete sigh of relief as the Matildas captain remains a legend.

The officers are still pushing for Kerr to face up to two years in prison for the alleged ‘racist harassment’, in a move that doesn’t do a good job at disproving Kerr’s ‘stupid white bastard’ allegations.

The court case is set to take place next year and last four days, which will likely involve the prosecutor putting forward their evidence of what Kerr has said, then the Judge asking ‘ok but what slur did she say’, then the cops spending the next four days apologising for wasting everyone’s time.

Some have suggested that there may be more to the arrest, with England clearly wanting revenge for Kerr scoring the best goal of the World Cup against them.

No word yet from Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on efforts from the Australian Government to free our Queen. With some calling for diplomatic discussions, others suggesting we take their king and offer him as a trade, while others are calling for a full scale invasion of the UK.