White man decides he knows what’s best for Indigenous Australians

A white man has decided that he knows what’s best for Indigenous Australians.

The former Queensland cop claimed that he’d talked to an Indigenous person who he reckons pretty much agreed with him, which meant he was instantly qualified to dismiss the 14-year long process that Indigenous people from all over the country have followed in shaping their request for a voice to parliament.

The man, who has spent past 22 years in Canberra, told Indigenous Australians, many of whom have have never been to Canberra, that the problem with their voice was that it was part of the Canberra bubble.

Experts said it was a long-standing Australian tradition for white people to know what’s best for Indigenous people in Australia. “This is a traditional ceremony that white people have engaged in for hundreds of years. It’s a bit like a corroboree for people with no sense of rhythm.”

Mr Dutton warned that if an Indigenous Voice to Parliament was added to the Australian constitution, there was a risk that it would change the way things worked.

“We support Indigenous recognition as long as it has absolutely no impact whatsoever on how anything works in Australia,” he proudly told reporters.

He called on the Labor Party to come up with an amended proposal that would not do anything at all for the lives of Aboriginal people. “That would be a proposal the Liberal Party could get behind.”