Scott Morrison accepts apology for Robodebt

Former Ministers Scott Morrison released a formal statement today, following an official apology for the mistreatment of victims of the unlawful Robodebt scheme.

“The government has acknowledged that people suffered and as a nation an apology has to be made in order to move on. As someone who was scrutinised and accused of acting unlawfully, that also makes me a victim of Robodebt, and I accept the government’s apology on behalf of everyone affected by this awful process,” he said over a chorus of boos.

“I have been the victim of political lynching and my situation has been weaponised in order for the Federal Government to advance its own agenda – truly no one else in Australia could possibly know what that feels like to be a victim of this.”

“The only people they could have been talking about when they said ‘the government totally shouldn’t have done that’ is myself, and the highly paid officials who designed and engineered this scheme.”

Rumours are circulating that other victims of the scheme, such as Alan Tudge, Christian Porter and Stuart Robert, are considering banding together and launching a class action lawsuit against the Federal Government.

“I know now that if we want justice and reparations we’ll need to stick together, we’ll be holding a special meeting at my Hawaiian lodge as soon as those pesky fires over there have settled down. I’d help out but you all know I don’t hold a hose.”

Mr Morrison said as soon as he heard there were deadly bushfires in Hawaii he fled to Mallacoota to wait things out.