“Governments need to do more to stop violence against women,” says Anthony Albanese seconds before shock discovery that he is in charge of the government

Anthony Albanese has received praise after firmly stating multiple times this weekend that “governments need to do more to stop violence against women,” seemingly without realising that he is literally in charge of the fucking government.

“I’m hear at this protest because enough is enough,” said Albanese after seeing his polling numbers, “Whoever is in charge around here should really be doing something.”

“This country is failing women. Everyone here is very angry and talking about the lack of funding for support and preventative measures, and I agree. Make sure to get a picture of my good side while I say this.”

The mood from Albanese quickly shifted however once someone in the audience pointed out to the Prime Minister that he is in fact in charge of the government, so the protest is in part against him.

“Oh, well in that case I say this is a complicated issue and the demands are not something I think we should rush into saying that we ‘will consider’. In fact I think it’s important to remember the role that everyone else plays and we should focus on that instead of the government.”

“This is about more than words, this is about action. That is why I made the promise to bring in 500 new domestic violence support workers. That is a commitment that  should make you feel better, just please do not google whether we actually followed through on that commitment.”

“Now if you excuse me, there have been enough photos of me at this event and I want to duck off before hearing any of the speeches from the people who actually people the protest together, like a true ally.”

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