Dutton removes suspicion by hiring PWC to manage his finances

Opposition leader Peter “Diligent Savings” Dutton has hired the famously integral consulting firm PWC to manage his finances, hoping to quash the rumours that his vast property empire was built on undeclared property deals and alleged insider trading.

“I needed an organisation who understands that just because something looks very sus, doesn’t mean that legally I did anything wrong,” said Dutton, “and with the amount I have used PWC over the years I know that they understand that better than anyone.”

“They also understand that making last minute stock trades on record low stocks just before government bail outs and having assets hidden in trusts isn’t untrustworthy levels of greed exploiting a broken system I fight to maintain; it is just being a humble mum and pop investor.”

A representative for PWC said they were excited to work with Mr Dutton regarding his ‘complicated’ finances.

“A client like Mr Dutton needs to know his money is with someone who shares his values. It’s not every day we get to work with someone who has such a keen sense of timing when it comes to investments. The foresight he had to win big on what would look like terrible investments at the time is outstanding.”

“Rest assured, we’ll be applying our world-class expertise in creative accounting and strategic ambiguity to ensure his portfolio remains as mysteriously successful as ever. Trust us, we’re professionals!”