General News
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General News
People who already stayed at home and drank lots haven’t really noticed crisis yet
“None of the new orders affect our lifestyle at all.”
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General News
Local man so bored he’s actually considering watching free-to-air TV
“So it’s come to this”
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General News
Andrew Bolt revealed as hilarious April Fool’s Prank
“The evidence is now overwhelming that the Andrew Bolt character is an elaborate prank.”
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General News
Self-isolating man invents new kind of lying down
A new twist on the classic back-to-surface style.
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General News
ABC in lockdown after children’s presenter tests positive for Coronavirus
THE ABC’s Sydney headquarters in Ultimo was today forced into lockdown after a popular children’s presenter tested positive for COVID-19, despite having never left the country and regularly self-isolating in his ‘batty lair’. “Early this morning one Mr G. Fangs returned a positive test for the virus, forcing the station into lockdown. We have since…
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General News
TV weatherman admits his job describing what it’s like outside now completely pointless
“What’s the point of me doing this anymore? You can’t go outdoors.”
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General News
NSW bans House Party app after fun in Sydney moves online
People drinking at home will also be required to pour their beer into plastic glasses after 10pm.
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General News
Dickhead uses Twitter thread to outline harrowing account of what it’s like to not have Covid-19
The thread is a cautionary tale for people who might be thinking that being a dickhead isn’t such a bad thing.
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General News
Oxford Dictionary names “Oh Fuck” Word of the Year
It now accounts for 50% of all words used in the English language.
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General News
Cat does better job writing report than home worker
“Great work on that report,” the boss is reported to have emailed back.