General News

“They asked about his mastery of the craft, so I assumed they meant nunchucks.”

Today he has shared 10 posts about the race to his Instagram story for his exclusively non-New Yorker followers to see.

Many of the toddlers reportedly said their first ever words while standing: “Understood master, awaiting mission status”

“I’m not asking for too much from a partner, I mean it doesn’t have to be a Santana or Mercedes level performance.”

Her policy gained immediate support from journalists and political staffers across the aisle, until they realised that by ‘white bags’ she doesn’t mean the kind you snort.

“Fuck it’s too bright out, the sun is shining almost as much as our teams.”

“I thought Islamophobia was a requirement to work at News Corp?”

“She wasn’t there for that long, and I don’t think she knows any other Italian.”  said her coworker

“You can’t use that word unless it is balanced with the opinion of someone who thinks killing children is fine.”

“He’s basically celebrating political violence” said tabloid writers