General News

The Liberal leader was forced to stepped down just days before anyone knew that he existed.

“This is a top priority story,” yelled one editor

“This may as well be a public holiday”

“They asked about his mastery of the craft, so I assumed they meant nunchucks.”

Today he has shared 10 posts about the race to his Instagram story for his exclusively non-New Yorker followers to see.

Many of the toddlers reportedly said their first ever words while standing: “Understood master, awaiting mission status”

“I’m not asking for too much from a partner, I mean it doesn’t have to be a Santana or Mercedes level performance.”

Her policy gained immediate support from journalists and political staffers across the aisle, until they realised that by ‘white bags’ she doesn’t mean the kind you snort.

“Fuck it’s too bright out, the sun is shining almost as much as our teams.”

“I thought Islamophobia was a requirement to work at News Corp?”