Trump renames Albury “USA!USA!USA!ville”

US President with everything to hide, Donald Trump has announced that Albury in New South Wales will now be called ‘USA!USA!USA!ville’.

This comes after the renaming of multiple other places around the world as Trump attempts to distract from the wars he started and the Epstein Files, or as he renamed them, the ‘Patriot Fun Times Files’.

“I’ve always liked Albury,” said Trump, “and Albury likes me. They tell me that all the time. So I called up the prime minister of Australia and look Albury people want to be shouting ‘USA USA USA’ and you should let them.”

“He was hesitant at first and started talking gibberish. Told me to ‘take a Wagga Wagga instead’ whatever that means. Australian is such a beautiful language.”

“But I told him let’s make a deal and we did. Albury is now American. You’re welcome.”

UPDATE: USA!USA!USA!ville has just launched pre-emptive strikes on Wodonga and demanded the city hand over any oil it has.