"He may not have been able to point to Iran on a map, but the man sure knew how to point to his heart. Well, the general area."

"Hahaha just kidding - it's all of them," said Morrison

"She's already living on government handouts, so she's basically there already."

"Death rates exceed even those of sniffing clag"

Investigators are still deciding on whether to add dumplings or not

"When I said it was a waste of time, I meant it was a waste of time not to do it!"

"Wait, they expect us to do things in return for being paid half a million dollars a year?"

"I don't know which one is worse."

"If the value drops below 10x inflation, I'm gonna be royally pissed."

"It's okay, I didn't need to sit down today anyway."