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Archive for 2008

Zombie finds call centres workers mindless
Having waited on hold for 40 minutes, reanimated corpse Trevor Fleck has slammed call centre workers across the nation, declaring them slack-jawed imitations of humanity with no reasoning power
Entire magazine read in newsagency
Despite the clear presence of a sign informing customers it is "not a lending library", an Erskineville newsagency was forced to remove a no-good freeloader last Tuesday afternoon, shining a light on a problem that newsagents are describing as a hidden epidemic
Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion
Married investment banker and secret transvestite Malcolm Penfold has declared himself "completely flummoxed" by recent sartorial trends. "How am I supposed to challenge socially constructed gender norms under these conditions?"
Imaginary Lotto winnings spent on imaginary girlfriend
Programmer Alan Ko has mentally laid out a financial plan of action which he intends to undertake when he wins next week's jackpot
Man goes on trip of a lifetime to work out where to end it
De Rossi claims he first got the idea of killing himself from a helpful anonymous poster on one of his youtube videos
Anti-social woman breaches ATM etiquette
"I don't know how she was raised," said disgruntled queuer Nick Mendes. "But I was always taught not to waste everyone's lunch hour with on-screen account balances."
Belief system debunked by T-shirt
Churches around the nation have reported a sharp decline in attendance following the revelation of a dogma-shattering item of clothing
Gary Gygax fails saving throw vs heart attack
Although official reports have blamed a heart attack, archmage Mordenkainen is claiming responsibility and demanding experience points for the kill
Outsider artist angry at positive review from conservative critic
"I suppose I'll just have to be even more anarchic and confronting from now on."
‘Gigli’ no better on Blu-ray
The high resolution only makes it's faults even more crystal clear