2008
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General News
Zombie finds call centres workers mindless
Having waited on hold for 40 minutes, reanimated corpse Trevor Fleck has slammed call centre workers across the nation, declaring them slack-jawed imitations of humanity with no reasoning power.
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General News
Entire magazine read in newsagency
Despite the clear presence of a sign informing customers it is “not a lending library”, an Erskineville newsagency was forced to remove a no-good freeloader last Tuesday afternoon, shining a light on a problem that newsagents are describing as a hidden epidemic.
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General News
Cross-dresser confounded by androgynous fashion
Married investment banker and secret transvestite Malcolm Penfold has declared himself “completely flummoxed” by recent sartorial trends. “How am I supposed to challenge socially constructed gender norms under these conditions?”
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General News Archive
Imaginary Lotto winnings spent on imaginary girlfriend
Programmer Alan Ko has mentally laid out a financial plan of action which he intends to undertake when he wins next week’s jackpot
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General News
Man goes on trip of a lifetime to work out where to end it
De Rossi claims he first got the idea of killing himself from a helpful anonymous poster on one of his youtube videos.
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World Archive
Gary Gygax fails saving throw vs heart attack
Although official reports have blamed a heart attack, archmage Mordenkainen is claiming responsibility and demanding experience points for the kill.
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General News
Outsider artist angry at positive review from conservative critic
“I suppose I’ll just have to be even more anarchic and confronting from now on.”
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General News Archive
‘Gigli’ no better on Blu-ray
The high resolution only makes it’s faults even more crystal clear.