"Now I know what a racehorse feels like - the ones that don't get shot I mean."

“It’s almost like those concerts were only attended by people who were already voting for us and people too young to vote. It doesn’t make sense.”

"I really can't wait until he accidentally starts his first war, at least then the conversations will get more interesting."

Anonymous Aussie set to advise on women and raw onions

Two terrifying, face-painted and angry-looking jesters hijacked television screens across the globe for 90 minutes last night