Aussie men break glass ceiling for gold medals

A historic moment for the 2024 Olympic games as tennis players Matthew Ebden and John Peers broke the glass ceiling surrounding gold medal wins, which has traditionally been seen as something only Aussie women can achieve.

“This is a huge moment for the nation,” said sports analyst Carl Realman, “watching these Olympics so far, I never even dreamed of a day where an Australian man could contribute to our gold medal tally.”

“It makes me emotional to think that little boys around the country would have watched on seeing someone like them take home the gold. Showing them that it’s not just the women, and that one day they could grow up to win gold too. Oh god, I’m tearing up.”

After winning gold, the men have now even started being treated like women in sport by having their funding drastically slashed, all camera shots of them competing being focused on their butts and have immediately been sexually harassed by high ranking coaches.