Kylie wins Men’s Grand Final

The AFL Men’s Grand Final between Brisbane and Fremantle has been decided with Kylie Minogue being declared the winner.

The diva put on a performance footy commentators will talk about for years, with many saying Kylie carried the country on her back.

“The songs were all clear goals,” said commentator Bazza, “but also the efficiency of the quick outfit changes, the hand-off to G Flip and her ability to take to the sky.. it was generational stuff.”

Meanwhile the NRL has let out a sigh of relief knowing that no matter who they booked for their final, it would be impossible to compete.