‘We can’t afford to raise the minimum wage’ says PM who spent $80m on water that doesn’t exist

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has slammed Labor leader Anthony Albanese today over his ‘extreme communist’ proposal to have people’s wages keep up with inflation. The tiny pay stabilization of $1 has been slammed by Morrison, who dubbed the move as reckless. “It’s just not good economic management,” explained Morrison, “You can’t just hand money out to people that aren’t close mates of the Liberal Party front bench.” The PM, whose treasurer said $20 is a regular amount to give a child from the tooth fairy, denies being out of touch with average workers, explaining that just because minimum wage workers can’t afford their rent, petrol or groceries, does not mean they aren’t earning a ‘living wage’ by today’s standards. “It’s not like one dollar would do anything anyway,” explained the PM. “I mean, these days zero litres of water goes for around $80m, let’s be realistic here.”

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