Scott Morrison brought a large lump of coronavirus into parliament during Question Time yesterday, dismissing concerns that the coronavirus poses any danger at all. Joyfully tossing the virus in the air, Mr Morrison said he brought the lump of virus into parliament to highlight what he claims is a scare campaign against the virus.

“This is coronavirus,” he told parliament, “don’t be afraid”. Experts have warned that the coronavirus poses a massive and imminent threat to the planet. But Mr Morrison noted Australia was on track to curb the impact of coronavirus by 2050. “We’re meeting out targets at a canter,” he said.

Mr Morrison noted that the government ran an Anti Skin Cancer education campaign last year, and “that should count as credits towards our coronavirus campaign.”

Meanwhile, Labor leader Anthony Albanese has said that he is still waiting for polling to come back from Central Queensland before he makes any statements on whether he is for or against the coronavirus. “We all know that the coronavirus creates jobs for pall-bearers. We need to take that into account to come up with a balanced approach to whether we’re for or against a global coronavirus pandemic. It’s more complicated than people make out.”

Mr Morrison said that if his coronavirus stunt in parliament did end up causing illness, it was The Green’s fault anyway.