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Scott Morrison announces Net Zero commitments to climate policy

Prime Minister and “leader” of the coalition Scott Morrison has today clarified the government’s position on climate policy, telling parliament that he is committed to having ‘Net Zero commitments to climate policy’.

The announcement comes after the PM backed down on his threat to Nationals MPs that if they didn’t commit to Net Zero carbon emissions by 2050 they would need to reconsider their position in the LNP. The PM claimed that backflip on having a vote was not a sign of lack of leadership on his behalf but was just that he forgot to ask his Deputy PM for permission to do the bare minimum of the climate action part of his job.

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“I have always been committed to this position, Mr Speaker,” said Morrison, “we continue to be firmly committed to not doing anything about climate change.”

“Look, we need to stand out on the world stage and with this approach we will. Experts said it would be embarrassing if we went to Glasgow with only a Net Zero by 2050 commitment and now that is no longer the case. You’re welcome Australia.”

“Obviously some may be disappointed with this decision and I do wish to address that. I am sorry to those who I am meant to be representing in this role who wanted Net Zero, I of course refer to the coal lobby and Rupert.”

“Now if you will excuse me I have pressing matters that need addressing with Barnaby, mainly that I need his permission to go to the toilet. I am busting.”




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