Public servants tell Dutton he doesn’t need to return to office

Unemployed former politician Peter Dutton has been forced out of his office months after demanding public servants return to theirs.

Dutton said he was disappointed to lose his job before he got the chance to achieve his dream of cutting tens of thousands of jobs from the public service.

“We are simply in shock tonight,” one Liberal insider said. “We thought we ran a smooth campaign and released a lot of very popular policies.”

“To be fair, most of these popular policies were reversing the horrifically unpopular policies we announced just before them.”