“Australia only needs skilled workers”: Coalition calls for mass deportation of Coalition MPs

The Coalition’s plan to drastically cut migration has hit an unexpected hurdle, after its promise to prioritise “skilled workers” has resulted in the immediate deportation of the entire Coalition party room.

“This policy is about making sure that the people who are in our country actually have something valuable to contribute,” Opposition leader Angus Taylor said, before he was hurriedly ushered away by officials from the Department of Home Affairs.

News of the mass deportation is yet to make much of an impact on the Australian political landscape.

“I assumed the whole Coalition got deported immediately after the 2022 election? I didn’t realise they were still around?” said one close political observer.

A spokesperson for the Coalition has called for sympathy at this time, asking for dogwhistles hurting their community to stop and for all to instead focus their hatred towards those with less power.