Greens reassure women that the 8 years of overlooked concerns were written on recycled paper

The Greens have denied having any cultural issues following reports that for years they overlooked concerns of alleged inappropriate behaviour towards women, in the latest of never ending exhausting stories for women around the nation.

This comes as WA Senator Jordan Steele-John has taken leave pending an investigation into multiple allegations of inappropriate conduct towards female members of the party from 2017-2025, allegations he denies.

New Greens leader David Shoebridge took note of how seriously the party took the allegations which were sent to him earlier this week, hoping to reassure women that if they have concerns the party will only take years to investigate, if there is a leadership change, and you go straight to said leader alongside multiple other women.

“People want to see politics done differently,” said a Greens spokesperson, “and this is that in action.

“We can assure you that when the Greens fail to investigate allegations for years, we don’t just shred the allegations like other parties, we recycle them.”

Women are now hoping that it will take less than a decade before they get to have an investigation into the processes that led to the lack of previous investigations.