Pauline Hanson launches new line of face masks to combat COVID

Pathological liar and racist statue who wished to be a real girl, Pauline Hanson has used her swan song performance on the Today show to do what she does best, spouting racist opinions on things that she is not an expert on. This week’s controversial appearance involved her opinions on Coronavirus and how we should all mitigate the spreading by wearing white hoods over our heads like all of her personal heroes have done for decades. “This virus is scary and needs to be stopped once and for all,” ranted Hanson, “I mean I don’t care about the science stuff, I am just scared cause I heard it came from Asia. Plus, it seems to do the most damage to the elderly, but without them who can One Nation scare into voting? I hear doctors talk about face-masks but this is Aussie breakfast tv, no-one wants to hear from boring ‘experts’ that ‘are educated in the issue and know what they are talking about’.” “I was looking in my closet and realised maybe covering our face in public isn’t a bad idea after all. Finally, a chance to wear my finest of white-hoods, I call for all my supporters to wear them. Also, you don’t need to worry about the people wearing them being a danger to society, I mean it’s not like a burqa. I reckon those things are a sign of dangerous people, hiding their face for nefarious reasons who have no place in modern Australia.” Pauline then went on to spew out her thoughts on border shut downs to minimise spread, “We need to open the borders, Queensland must accept everyone. But also, we need to shut the borders from people not from here. But also, how can these people shut us off from other people who can make our society better by bringing their diverse histories. But also, I am sick of all this diversity these days. But also, we need the other people to move here to spend and make money, but also I am sick of outsiders coming here buying our food and stealing our jobs…” In response to the appearance, the Today show fired her claiming they “didn’t expect racism” and continued to share the clip in order to brag about punishing her for once. However, they did eventually stop after the producers did cartridge damage to their wrists after patting themselves on the back too much for their ‘heroic’ call to no longer pay someone to spew racism on their platform constantly. Samantha Armitage did praise the move as this means Pauline will have more time to chat with her on Sunrise.

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