Pauline Hanson left shaken after discovering ‘Welcome’ mat on doorstep

Pauline Hanson has today stormed out of her house, after seeing a ‘Welcome to My Home’ doormat on the front step. “I don’t like it,” sobbed Hanson while fleeing down the street. “I can’t have non-white people thinking they’re welcome in my house!” Meanwhile, the Australian national Parliament has today revealed plans to hold a daily Welcome to Country, following the discovery that Pauline Hanson will exit the building whenever one is held. “This is great,” said one MP. “Now only 20% of our Parliament is made up of neo-Nazis. That’s a massive improvement!” However, not all parties are happy with the outcome, with diversity advocates decrying the loss of Australia’s most pre-eminent person of colour. “The fact is as a red haired woman with a speech impediment, Pauline provides much needed diversity to our national parliament,” explained one clerk. “That’s an endangered species of politician since Julia Gillard retired.” “This is flat out reverse racism,” explained Hanson, “it’s even worse than the time they started serving Sushi in the lunch room.”

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