The Albanese government has today announced its long awaited stance on one of Australia’s biggest issues, unveiling a large “YES” symbol in a press conference. “We want to send a clear message to the people of Australia that we will be saying YES to coal and gas mining, and I want the people of Australia to stand behind us and embrace the idea of saying YES,” said the Prime Minister.
“YES, to any and all mining, YES to blowing up sacred indigenous sites and YES to political donations from coal and gas giants.”
The official title of the campaign will be YES 23, which is approximately the number of coal mines the Albanese government has approved since taking office.
The Prime Minister made the announcement on site at the Ensham coal mine, recently opened to ensure vital jobs and profits are provided to the South African energy company who own 75% of it.
“We know it’s an issue that we’ve gone back and forth on, depending on if we’re in government or not, but we know the Australian people respect firm stances on real issues, that’s how we’ve been able to win 3 elections in the past 30 years.”
“We’d like to encourage everyone in Australia to get behind saying YES to things that we do, no matter the personal, economic or environmental implications.”
Opposition leader Peter Dutton has describe the campaign as ‘A brazen move to divide the Australian people’.
“Something like this shouldn’t even invite debate and when you say yes to something, you invite others to say no, which can be very harmful when it’s this important. Where will it end? Just imagine if down the track we asked a yes/no question to confirm peoples identity, or to decide who they get to marry. It would cause very harmful rhetoric and we don’t want to bring that into our discussions on coal mining.”