‘Guys, I am trustworthy, see look at my private texts’ says PM

Drama addict Scott Morrison has come under fire after ‘allegedly’ leaking selective private messages from France’s President Emmanuel Macron regarding the failed submarine deal. Mr Morrison told reporters that he hoped these new out of context messages will prove to other world leaders that he is as trustworthy as anyone else who leaks private texts. The PM hoped that the out of context selective text messages that vaguely show that Macron was worried that Morrison might back out of the agreement just before he backed out of the agreement, would prove his point that he isn’t a liar, text messages that the PM is claiming he didn’t leak despite being screenshots from his phone. “He accused Australia of lying and that is a disgusting slur,” lied the incel fuckwit, “I will prove to you that I am trustworthy. I will leak any and all documents needed to help prove my case enough for Rupert to spin it in my favour. I will leak any and all group chats and secrets, I don’t care if you don’t want me to. I need you to trust me.” In response to this drama, many around the country wish that the PM had the same urgency condemning Linda Reynolds for calling Brittany Higgins a ‘lying cow’ and when he was ‘unable’ to find records regrading who knew what about what happened to Higgins.

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