Parents have been left fearing for their children’s safety this week, following reports a group of groomers have been disguising themselves in dresses and holding book readings every Sunday as an excuse to get close to children.

“Why is anyone allowing these monsters near our kids?” said one parent. “Everything about their way of life is unnatural, it goes against the very tenants of science! Why are they allowed to keep doing this?”

“The stories they read… I mean this ‘Holy Bible’ is filled with so much sex and violence. It’s disgusting and they are indoctrinating impressionable children with this filth!”

“I hear some of them are even offering the children alcohol!”

Conservative politicians have rushed to take this issue to parliament, demanding answers as to how such dangers to society are allowed to continue their acts in broad daylight. “If we don’t put an end to this soon, we’re going to start seeing these people infiltrating our schools and childcare,” explained one worried politician. Informed schools already have allocated unsupervised classes every week for unvetted people to come in and indoctrinate children with book readings, absolutely nothing was done because it wasn’t politically expedient.