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Barnaby Joyce blames entire career on Ambien

Barnaby Joyce has back-tracked on everything he said during the interview for Channel 7, which will air this Sunday.

“Look, I’m terribly sorry about that Sunday Night interview, I was Ambien interviewing,” he said, speaking privately to the entire national media. Ambien is a powerful sleeping pill that is popular amongst celebrities wanting to avoid responsibility for stuff they’ve done.

“In fact, come to think of it, I’ve been Ambien governing for the past few years. That explains a huge amount, actually.”

Joyce backtracked on the interview after it became apparent Channel 7 had managed to capture the true nature of his character in the interview.

Joyce has worked tirelessly over the years to keep his true character private. “Some private matters are private. Not my affair, obviously, nor the intimate details of my sex life, nor even the privacy of my baby son. They’re all up for sale. But my narcissism is a private between me and the people close to me in my life that I’m hurting with it.”

Joyce has invoiced The Chaser another $300k for the comments made in this article.


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