Albo commits to deporting Jesus if he rises again this Sunday

Former ‘Tory Puncher’ Anthony Albanese has announced that he will do everything in his power to deport Jesus Christ if he follows through on rising again this Sunday.

The shocking move came as the PM continues to push his new ‘tough on borders’ approach after his polling numbers hit the traditional level where an Australian Prime Minister desperately decides to ramp up fear-mongering, in hopes of winning the votes of racists who would never vote for Labor.

“Previously Border Force would have let a man like that through,” he said at a press conference earlier today, “but we have recently discovered that the images we have of him are false and he wasn’t actually white. That changes everything.”

“While the weak willed Liberal Party are showing how weak they are on boarders by posting thanks to this foreign potential threat, we believe in taking action. Jesus claims to be the child of a refugee, that is not the kind of people the Labor Party want in this country. We will fight back against the potential threat that is Jesus or any person from the Middle East who is in danger.”

“This is a really special call for me to make… you see growing up, my mother never got to deport Jesus Christ…”

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