The Liberal Party have taken a massive stance to prove to voters that they no longer have a problem with women by choosing former politician Tim Wilson over two other female candidates in order to try and win back a seat currently held by a woman.

“Last election we were shocked to learn that women are allowed to vote these days,” said Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, “but it turns out we need to win their votes too. So I had a chat with Former Minister for Women Abbott and came to the best choice to win over the ladies.”

“It’s clear that Tim Wilson is the person for the job. Sure he may have lost humiliatingly badly, but when it comes to taking back the job from a woman, we knew the best choice had to be the man.”

“Plus this means one less woman whose desk can be jizzed on, which is progress to a safer party where there are no women who have desks for us to wank onto.”