Albanese finally condemns a stupid American

A public verbal lashing from the Prime Minister Albanese has finally shown one American that messing around with Australia has consequences.

After the actions of one dumb American dominated the news cycle for days, world leaders around the globe were stunned into silence. Xi Jinping, Putin, Prince Harry – none spoke out against the Yank’s sickening and dangerous behaviour.

But not Anthony “Mr Backbone” Albanese, who knows that silence is complicity. When his nation comes under fire from a world superpower, he will not be complicit in another American attack on common sense and the rules of order.

Albanese bravely stepped in front of a microphone and spoke, not just to that stupid American, but to the world, and said: “Oi dipshit, get your hands off that wombat, ya grog.”

Since speaking out, Albanese has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and a medal of bravery for taking a stand while other world leaders grovelled.

“I just realised that as a world leader you need to stand up to bullies. If the actions of one American clearly hurt my country, then I have a responsibility to stand up for Australia,” Albanese said.

Albanese’s doctors have since warned him that further stress on his spine could result in irreparable damage to key focus groups, and have advised that he limit himself to just one act of showing moral fibre per decade.