Albanese bans access to non-Murdoch media for kids under 16

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has announced that along with his Murdoch backed social media bans, he will also be banning children from accessing non-Murdoch media.

The move, which experts have described as ‘completely backwards’ is just the latest Labor announcement with then hope of finally landing the endorsement that will never come.

“We should not let overseas tax dodging billionaires affect what our children see,” said the PM while recovering from pink-eye he developed from kissing Murdoch’s arse.

“Kids are being exposed to misogynistic, racist and homophobic content on the regular; but sadly it is not coming from Australia’s very own misogynistic, racist, homophobic content machine. It is time we change that.”

“Any child who is seen taking in any information from a non-Murdoch source will be jailed immediately as the criminals they are.”