Guy who watched Conclave excited to use new found expertise

As the global catholic communion mourns the death of Pope Francis and prepares for the election of their new religious leader, a local Sydney man, Sam, 27, is hyping himself up for the Roman Catholic Church’s conclave for entirely different reasons.

Sam, a Letterboxd addict and self-proclaimed papal election expert, developed his passion after a New Years Eve screening of the Academy Award winning film Conclave.

“This is what I’ve been training for,” said Sam, before taking a deep rip of a vape pen.

“From the moment Cardinal Tedesco walked on screen, I knew I had found my new personality. I mean who wouldn’t want to be dripped out and have a solid grasp on their life goals and values.”

While Sam has become heavily invested in following Cardinal Robert Sarah’s chances at “snatching the white smoke”, some have concerns about his new obsession.

Lilly, Sam’s girlfriend, told The Chaser that “it’s the Olympics all over again.”

“It’s like men can’t have a casual interest these days, they’ll keep researching until they are squatting in the shower at 3am reading about the election of Cardinal Giuseppe Sarto in 1903”

While Sam is hoping the conclave drags out like the 1268–71 papal election, his nearest and dearest are hoping it wraps up quickly so he can get back to writing Muppet puns on Letterboxd.