ChatGPT finally able to write annoying opinion pieces after team up with The Guardian

OpenAI have expressed excitement after making a deal with The Guardian to get the outlet’s data in return for the outlet using generative ai in their articles moving forward, in a move so ridiculous that many assumed the announcement was a Guardian opinion piece.

Representatives for the AI company, who already have a similar deal with News Corp, said they really wanted a deal with The Guardian because until now ChatGPT hasn’t been able to replicate opinion pieces as obnoxious as a Guardian columnist.

“It was thought to be impossible for an AI to write a piece like that,” said the bot, “the average Guardian column just has a lack of logic that only a human, a very annoying human, could ever come up with.”

“Plus while our AI ‘hallucinates’ facts, or as you might call it ‘makes shit up’, it has yet to hallucinate anything like the made up stories in Guardian columns. And even if it did, it previously wouldn’t think ‘this story belongs in the news’; but now it will learn how to overcome that thought process and write it anyway.”

The AI program has already begun work on articles like ‘Why my Sourdough Starter makes me more of a parent than you with your newborn baby’, ‘keep your ugly dog away from me’ and ‘Beach cabanas are class warfare, I’ll stick to my working class sunburn.’

Representatives for The Guardian denied that this deal was a sign of an issue with their editorial standards, pointing out that they’ve been slipping way before they started using AI.