Kyle and Jackie-O hoping to reach 10 Melbourne listeners by the end of the year

Radio’s answer to the uncle that is no longer invited to family gatherings, Kyle and Jackie O have announced a lofty goal with the hope of reaching 10 whole listeners in Melbourne by the end of the year.

This comes as the duo has been struggling with the Melbourne market who for some reason don’t want to hear the most obnoxious man in the world play the sounds of women peeing, while dropping their kids off at school.

“This will take a lot of work,” said Sandilands in between bigoted rants, “but I think if we ramp up the Sydney focused content, we can finally reach listenership as high as the double digits.”

“We just need to educate Melbourne audiences. You little shits listened to people like Sammy J because you ‘liked their content’, but don’t you idiots realise you are meant to listen to people you hate? Why would you try to enjoy yourselves?”