The man who is to douchebags what horses are to horse girls, Joe Rogan, has today come under fire from health professionals for his statements about Covid-19. In a recent instagram video, Rogan told his audience that the virus had been misunderstood, and invited Covid onto his show for an intimate, three hour conversation.

“See you don’t need vaccines to prevent a virus, we can all just get along,” explained Rogan in his show today. “Wait no, it’s evaded my body’s defences somehow. I don’t understand, with the amount of Ketamine I’m on I should be immune to everything. How could medical advice I read on a Facebook comment section be wrong!?”

Medical experts say Rogan’s covid infection is concerning, but treatments are available. “I’m very hopeful ivermectin will do the trick for him,” said one medical expert. “Not that horse de-wormer will work for Covid mind you, but hopefully it might help deal with all the horse-shit the guy ingests from his guests. We’re going to need a truckload to treat the amount of brain-worms he’s been exposed to.”