General News
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General News
Lazy environmentalist stages drive against global warming
His “honk if you hate fossil fuels” bumper sticker is changing the world.
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General News
Earring ruins Doctor’s credibility
“I’d be worried about his ability to make sound judgements with a look so clearly inspired by 90s boybands.”
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General News
Female ad exec brought out to defend sexist ad
Thirty-one-year-old account manager Jana Verkovic has been given a rare public role defending her company, cutting-edge advertising agency Fresh Juice, against allegations of sexism. After a billboard ad depicting two scantily-clad models lapping from a bowl of milk under the caption “Drink Milk” attracted a record number of complaints, Verkovic appeared on ABC radio to…
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General News
McDonald’s worker tries to “gangsta up” his uniform
Sixteen year-old Dapto hoodlum Brett Waterton has slowly customised his standard McDonald’s uniform to reflect American hip-hop culture. Working within the constraints of the strict employee code of conduct, Waterton has nevertheless added what he describes as “flava” to the staff garb. While his workmates choose to wear the durable, stain resistant pants in a size comfortable for them,…
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General News
Half-hour explanation of internet leaves grandma none-the-wiser
When Harry Hewitt attempted to explain the workings of the world wide web to his octagenerian grandmother, he expected limited success. But even that modest hope was dashed, after a lengthy explanation punctuated by confused questions left the elderly Mrs Hewitt feeling only baffled and tired. “After handing me a $50 note, which was wrapped…
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General News
“Hare Hare, Hare Krishna” still top of Hare Krishna music charts
The hit song “Hare Hare, Hare Krishna” entered its 1,974th week in the Number One position on the Hare Krishna Top 40 this week, setting a record that the Hare Krishna Musical Association (HKMA) says may never be beaten. “When we first started this chart more than thirty years ago, ‘Hare Hare’ was number one…
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General News
Crazy Frog working on difficult second album
Record label Jamster! has announced that the scheduled release of the Crazy Frog’s follow-up to Jingle Bells/U Can’t Touch This has been delayed indefinitely. The album, featuring the working title Ring Ding Ding!, has been dogged by staff walk-outs, contract disputes and, insiders say, increasingly bitter disagreement over its creative direction.
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General News
Student broadens horizons with GAP year at private school similar to own
As some HSC students banally weigh up the merits of studying at Sydney or Macquarie in the new year, some like Barker College student Marcus Hawley are choosing a wilder unknown way. Boarding life will come as no shock for Hawley. Though his family lives at Warrawee, only a handful of suburbs away from Barker,…
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General News
Lame satirical article labours point
A satirical article laboured the point yesterday, merely dragging out the headline for another 300 words, unconfirmed sources reported. As often happens with these articles, a point was made in the second paragraph, then only repeated with a direct quote. "That often happens with these kinds of things. A point is made then a quote…
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General News
Late night TV converts viewer to Christianity
Spurred on by his viewing of pre-dawn television, 41 year-old printer salesman Andrew Smithers has found God. Smithers says that the conversion process began at 12.00am Wednesday with the Channel Ten chat show Face to Face. “At first I thought it was just an informative discussion of world events conducted by people I could relate…