Top 10 savings tips for struggling one percenters only getting an extra $4.5k in tax cuts

According to the Liberal Party and Australian media, the group doing it toughest right now are rich people who will only be receiving a $4.5K tax cut, so this article has tips to help all those strugglers doing it tough on $200k+ a year.

1. Cut down on the avocado and caviar toast

We all love our comfort foods, but if you want to afford that 5th investment property you may need to cut down on these unnecessary purchases. So alternatively have your private chef cook you something else instead, or maybe even make your own breakfast. When you are doing it tough, it is important to live within your means.

2. Sell one of your many investment properties

Alternatively, you could sell one of your existing properties. See despite popular belief, investment properties can actually be sold instead of just hoarded. Maybe this time of financial hardship is a good excuse to do a bit of a spring clean and sell one of you many investments to get some quick millions.

3. Find a roommate for your mansion

A more practical solution for when you cant afford you mansion payments is to just get a roommate. Not only is it a good way to stay in contact with people and argue over who left a couple drops of milk left in the milk bottle, it also brings the cost down. And luckily, as the owner of your mansion, you won’t need to worry about a landlord raising your rent after learning you got a roommate.

4. Let the kids take the bus to private school, instead of having a chauffeur drive them

A scary thought I know, the idea of your children going anywhere near the unwashed on public transport, but financially it is a lot cheaper and better for the environment than having a chauffeur take them to their elite private school. If that is a a step too far, at least consider trying a car instead of a helicopter for that daily run.

5. Downsize your yacht purchase

A potential reality that might be heartbreaking for some to hear is that maybe if you need an extra $9k from the government for that super-yacht purchase, just ‘slum’ it with a regular boring yacht. I know you might be called a ‘peasant’ by everyone else at the golf club, but sometimes you got to pinch them pennies.

6. Instead of just buying the brand you know, look for cheaper cocaine alternatives

We all like to buy the name brands we all know and love, but with the amount of cocaine are doing in order to keep your energy up while bragging on social media that you’ve cut down on your coffee, but in the same way that sometimes your help needs to shop at Aldi because you refuse to give them a pay rise, you might need to go to the slightly poorer neighbourhoods to get some slightly lower quality but much cheaper bumps.

7. Stop buying a new Stanley Cup with every drink of water

A rare known fact amongst owners of designer environmentally friendly cups, is that they are actually reusable. Their practicality is meant to be more than just a fashion statement, and you can actually use the one you already have multiple times. You also do not need to just throw it in the trash to end up in the ocean the moment a new designer cup brand replaces this one. Hypothetically, you could still even use the previous season’s designer cup if you hadn’t thrown out ten of those the moment Stanley cups went viral.

8. Steal money from a homeless person

While you may not notice these people because they will be beaten by police and thrown in jail if they go within 500m of a rich suburb, but there are actually a lot of people who currently don’t have a home. Not just lacking in investment properties, any properties. But we assume that they would have probably heard how hard it is for you to only get an extra $4.5 a year in tax cuts, and they would probably be fine you with you taking your ‘fair share’ of the money people give them for food. You are the real victims of this unfair societal structure after all.

9. Stop playing Lamborghini bumper cars

We understand that this is a favourite past time of many of the rich, alongside spitting on the poor and voting Teal, but there are cheaper alternatives than playing Lamborghini Bumper cars, including playing ‘Used Lamborghini Bumper Cars’, ‘regular bumper cars’ or just giving us a million bucks and we will play human bumper cars, just running around a field running into each other with our arms by our sides for your entertainment.

10. Make a blood sacrifice to the old gods of prosperity

A traditional money saving tip, blood sacrifices have gone out of fashion in recent centuries, but that doesn’t mean they have lost their purpose. Simply conduct a blood sacrifice on your first born nepo-baby and old gods will grant you great prosperity, similar to what you already have but with the added bonus of saving all the money you waste on that annoying nepo-baby child of yours.

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