AUKUS submarines downgraded to paper boats

The latest update on the AUKUS submarine deal has seen the new nuclear submarines from America downgraded to a fleet of used paper boats.

Defence Minister Richard Marles announced the change, explaining it ‘simplifies’ the future of our navy as submarines are much harder to operate than paper boats.

“This deal where we give the US hundreds of billions of dollars for new submarines is very complicated,” said Marles, “but now the US has decided they don’t want any new submarines to not be theirs, which means we all think it’s unfair for us to get any.”

“But these ships are basically the same as new submarines, in that they also go in water. So the deal is still very worth the money.”

“Plus, these state of the art vessels also double as a hat.”