2000
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World
Engaged couple eschew diamond in favour of direct contribution to Angolan war
SYDNEY, Wednesday: Sydney couple John Williams and Denise Cox have decided to shun the traditional purchase of a diamond ring for their engagement. “It’s not that we didn’t want a ring, it’s just that we didn’t approve of the way they are traded,” said Denise. The couple made their decision after hearing stories about the…
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Entertainment
New Metallica album sparks wave of copyright compliance
[Edition 21] SAN DIEGO, Monday: Amid the online copyright controversy from legal action against software company Napster, heavy metal band Metallica has released its 12th album, Kopy Kat Killer. In the wake of the law suit, the new album has been met with unprecedented levels of adherence to copyright law.
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National
Outback tragedy: 60 children dead after Qantas forgets to collect youth choir
ALICE SPRINGS, Tuesday: Tragedy has struck the desert this week, after the entire Australian Youth Choir was left stranded in the desert by Qantas airways due to a scheduling error. The death of the choir is just the latest in a series of setbacks for the beleaguered airline, with the youth choir having already been…
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General News
Model In Catwalk Smiling Controversy
[Edition 21] A 16-year-old French model has been told she may never work again, after smiling on the catwalk during a fashion parade in Sydney last week. Lucinda Dior smiled at least three times during a runway show at Australian Fashion Week. Her cheerfulness has enraged fashion purists, who have accused the model of making…
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Entertainment
Movie ruined as Alibrandi found in Five-Dock
[Edition 21] HABERFIELD, Wednesday: The local movie Looking for Alibrandi experienced a dramatic dip in attendances today after it was announced that Alibrandi had successfully been found.
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National
‘Ralph’ employees sacked for downloading positive images of women
[Edition 20] MELBOURNE, Wednesday: Following the dismissal of 27 Telstra employees last week for downloading hardcore pornography on their work computers, Ralph magazine sacked five employees yesterday for downloading positive images of women.
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National Archive
Rain Man withdraws endorsement of Qantas
[Edition 20] In a desperate attempt to restore its reputation, a spokesman for Qantas has claimed that the Rain Man “no longer represents majority opinion in the autistic community”.
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World
Ethopian drought caused by sub-optimal I Ching, say feng shui experts
[Edition 20] Ethiopia is stuck in a cycle of drought, the former Yugoloslavia has been waging the same war for the past 800 years and there seems no end in sight. Which is why many commentators are turning to an ancient Chinese art to explain why some countries seem to have all the luck.
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World Archive
Putin settles into Yeltsin’s shoes, wobbles a lot
[Edition 20] MOSCOW, Tuesday: The new President of Russia has made good his promise of being a “strong leader in the traditional Russian mould” by downing three bottles of vodka and speaking incoherently to foreign diplomats.
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World Archive
Microsoft break-Up: Yoko Ono to blame
[Edition 20] Microsoft today announced it will break up, despite a wildly successful relationship that has lasted 24 years. “The time has come see other operating systems, and that, like so many things, was really incompatible with Windows,” Bill Gates said.