Vatican avoids tariffs with made in USA Pope

The Vatican has secured a rare exemption to Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs after electing a made in USA Pope.

“This new Pope is perfect,” said a representative for the church, “being an American he can protect us from the tariffs and any potential invasions.”

“Plus he is very qualified, his record shows he cares about God and he has already helped cover up sexual abuse in the church. That’s both the qualities we look for in a leader.”

Leaders in the Vatican have urged Pope Leo XIV to delete old tweets criticising Vice President JD Vance, out of fears that he might die in similar circumstances to Pope Francis.

In response to the appointment, Trump has declared the Vatican to be the 51st state.