Republicans wishing they had backed someone who’s interested in those old enough to vote

Epstein’s closest friend, President Trump received a resounding “go fuck yourself” in the midterm elections after failing to address the needs of voters.

The racist toddler who wished to be a fully grown sexual predator, was backed by the Republicans instead of someone who would not just completely fuck the country.

“Maybe we should have gotten someone who has interest in those old enough to vote,” said one strategist, “we tried to get him to think about what people want but he would just start crying and saying he wanted to go back to the island.”

“It turns out voters want someone who wants to fix the issues in the country, not actively cause them. Whoops.”