“You can’t trust big tech, that’s why you should give them a copy of your ID” says PM

Prime Minister who’s embarrassingly desperate for Murdoch’s approval, Anthony Albanese has told the nation that we can not trust the big tech giants, and that is why you should want to give them enough information to steal your identity.

“The time to protect children is now,” said the government that is fine with children seeing gambling ads, getting locked up, and even the inhumanity of listening to Kyle and Jackie-O.

“We must protect the children by making their only option be reading News Corp papers. That way they wont be randomly exposed to violent sexism, racism and homophobia. They will be systematically shown it instead.”

“We simply can’t trust the tech giants or do reform that focuses on making them act because that wont get me good headlines before the election.”

“We also can’t trust the experts, even the ones we cite say that our rushed law is ‘harmful’. Clearly they just want to brain wash our children into being thugs.”

“So just give them your ID, and also we will be making them track your location harder. What’s the worst that can happen? Name one time that a massive company has misused data or been hacked.”