Senior Labor officials confirm that Fatima Payman is the Zodiac Killer

Shocking developments from Canberra today as Senior Labor officials have told political reporters that Senator Fatima Payman is the Zodiac Killer.

This comes as today’s definitely true revelation about the rogue senator who is both a politically naive idiot who is incapable of organising change and a master manipulator/political genius who spent months deviously plotting to trick the Labor Party, the Greens, the media and the public without anyone noticing.

The senior Labor sources who told us that Payman is the Zodiac Killer have chosen to go unnamed out of fear that they will be her next victim.

While there is no actual evidence to back up the claim, brave political journalists from every outlet have published the talking point verbatim without any scrutiny, in the hopes to one day get a cushy job as the government’s media advisor.

One political editor wrote in their analysis of the claim, “some may say this sounds ‘too ridiculous to be true’ but I ask who do you blindly trust as a source more: the government’s dirt unit or Zodiac Killer?”