Labor rushes social media ban so they can hold space for “Defying Gravity”

The Labor government have fast tracked legislation to ban under 16’s from social media through Parliament, done urgently so they can ‘hold space’ for Defying Gravity.

They blamed the rush to overlook experts on having other ‘more important’ priorities to handle such as putting on a parliamentary-wide performance of Wicked during their Christmas party this year.

The bill had bipartisan support with both PM Albanese and Opposition Leader Dutton making a historic joint statement, in the form of an energetic rendition of Popular.

“Some policies are just too important to wait for the new year,” said the PM while Dutton stood solemnly while clutching one of Albanese’s green manicured fingers.”

“In the future, this generation will look back and thank us for maintaining the good old days – like times when there were only three channels on TV and we could smoke on airplanes.”

Peter Dutton was overcome with emotion and simply said, “that’s really powerful, that’s what I wanted.”