Greens unsure which bin to put discarded MPs into

The Greens have been left scrambling after losing all bar one member in the House of Representatives, leaving new leader Larissa Waters wondering what bin to put the discarded members into.

“We’ve planned for everything,” said Waters, “but we didn’t think about how to dispose of these old politicians.”

“We avoid single use plastics, but we completely overlooked single use politicians like Max.”

“But it’s good to clean up like this though. I knew we had Max and Adam, but turns out there was some guy called Stephen we need to get rid of too. You always forget something.”

“Who knows, maybe an Op-Shop can find a use for these things.”

Meanwhile multi-millionaire landlord Anthony Albanese has done everything he can to try hide that he is more excited to see Max Chandler-Mather and Adam Bandt leave parliament than he is about Peter Dutton.