Conservative ‘outrage’ after Welcome To Country ceremonies cost roughly 0.00049% of an AUKUS sub per year

Conservative media and politicians have come out in droves to pretend that their problem with paying respects to First Nations people and their traditional land is the cost.

Many have said the cost of Welcome To Country ceremonies are some of the most ‘wastefully high’ spending in Australian parliaments, coming in at roughly 0.00049% of an AUKUS submarine that may or may not be delivered in a couple decades time.

“We need to look after taxpayer money,” said an LNP representative who was fine with giving Angus Taylor’s former company $80m for non-existent drought relief water.

“This couple hundred grand might not sound much in the grand scheme of government spending, but if we double it then round up and have a media campaign, it can start to sound scary.”

“This is serious money. We are talking about a yearly taxpayer money spend that is about as much as what we spent on Scott Morrison’s empathy consultant.”

“This money could be going to schools or hospitals. I mean if they did I would do everything I could to block it, but like hypothetically speaking. Better yet it could go to our fossil fuel donors who had to buy their own caviar for their mega-yacht parties.”

“It’s totally just about the cost, that is why we will start walking out of the ceremonies like our leader did during the National Apology.”