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Bob Katter announces support for Australia Day merch, but won’t spend any time on it, because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland

Elected representative for bizarre distractions, Bob Katter has announced his support for Australia Day merchandise in shopping centres.

“Shops have a right to sell what they sell of course” he said standing on a bench in the middle of a Cairns shopping complex. “To be honest, I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Let a thousand flag toothpicks snap while you try to use them for all I care. But I ain’t spending any time on it, because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland!”

“People don’t care about the REAL ISSUES like crocodile attacks! Or the complete lack of Christian values in our society! We’ve got a Foreign king on our coins, a gestapo state government that won’t do anything about flooding and kids these days aren’t bringing guns to school anymore. What if Russia invades our schools!”

Security at the shopping centre spoke to Mr Katter before calling an ambulance afraid that something might be seriously wrong. More updates will come regarding his condition as further details are revealed to the media.

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