Australia votes No in Dutton Referendum

Former (suck shit twat) member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, has suffered a devastating loss at the hands of his own rhetoric, as Australians overwhelmingly vote ‘No’ to him.

In a massive surprise to everyone who didn;t watched the campaign, debates, polls, or betting market, Peter Dutton has lost not only the election, but his own seat. Serving as a reminder that no satire is funnier than reality. 

The resounding loss for the Liberal Party comes after Australian voters treated this election as a referendum on the crucial issue of Peter Dutton.

To which they overwhelmingly voted: hell fucking no. 

“I was at my voting booth and I remembered, ‘if you don’t know vote no,’ and I realised, I don’t know,” said one voter.

“We don’t want his voice to our parliament.”

In the wake of the result, the Dutton campaign is wondering where they went wrong. Was it their policies? Or the policies they backflipped on? Or perhaps it was the policies they didn’t have but pretended to.

But no. Eventually they will find the simple answer: it was Peter Dutton.