National
Former ‘Tory Puncher’ Anthony Albanese has announced that he will do everything in his power to lock up Mary and Joseph if they try to arrive in Australia tomorrow.
The shocking move came as the PM continues to push his new ‘tough on borders’ approach after his polling numbers hit the traditional level where an Australian Prime Minister desperately decides to ramp up fear-mongering, in hopes of winning the votes of racists who would never vote for Labor.
“Previously Border Force would have let a couple like them through,” he said at a press conference, “but we have recently discovered that the images we have of them are false and they weren’t actually white. That changes everything.”
“We must stand strong against these so-called ‘refugee’ threats. Who knows what sort of mayhem they would cause if they came here and had a child? They should go back to where they came from and will likely be killed.”
“This is a really special call for me to make… you see growing up, my mother never got to deport Mary and Joseph…”
In response, Opposition leader Peter Dutton accused the PM of being ‘divisive’ for saying he will lock up the refugees, instead of locking them up and torturing them.
