National
Prime Minister for socially conscious rich people, Anthony Albanese has decided to include a last minute “Maybe” option alongside the traditional “Yes” and “No” in the upcoming referendum. He stated it was specifically for people who don’t know if the voice is the right option, but also don’t want to come across as a racist.
“We understand that taking five minutes to read about something that’s been in the works for over 10 years can be a little bit daunting for some people, but I want to assure my fellow centrists that there’s an option here where you don’t have to think about it but don’t seem like a bad person,” he said to raucous applause.
“Clearly a yes or no question is far too complicated for some people, so we’re changing the rules a little bit, to say that if you’re not sure – vote maybe. If most people vote maybe, we’ll decide the referendum using the time-tested method for resolving thorny issues in this country, which is to ask the mining companies what to do.
News of the third option has middle class white people celebrating everywhere, “I like things the way they are and the news is so depressing normally, it’s good that we can just kind of opt out of thinking about others” said a tax evasion specialist from Double Bay.
Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has slammed the Prime Minister saying that Albanese wasn’t giving him credit for all the indecisiveness the Coalition and News Corp have generated.
“You can’t just stand up and act like our national misinformation campaign doesn’t even exist! There’s not even any information on this “maybe option” what does it even mean. We need more detail on this.”
