General News
The QLD Liberal Party has announced a new platform ahead of the October election, where the only chance underprivileged children have to eat lunch is if they get locked up in prison.
“We want to send the children of QLD a message with our policy,” said LNP leader Dave Crisafulli, “we are giving you the opportunity to pay for your own lunch at school.
“If you want to eat for free, just become a criminal… or a Labor voter – honestly who can even tell the difference anymore.”
“The children in QLD need to learn, if you want to grow up and not be imprisoned by us, you’d better pay up. Everyone knows that the way to stop children from taking things is to not let them have anything.”
“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, unless you’re a pollie, I get those all the time. but certainly not a child. If they deserved food they would have donors!”
The policy has drawn support from the LNP’s favourite far right allies, like One Nation and the Katter Australia Party, who also suggested children work as fruit pickers to pay for their lunch.