General News
New ‘White Wiggle’ introduced to help Matt Canavan feel represented

The Wiggles have today introduced a new addition to the Wiggles lineup, with a new member to be added who only wears all white outfits to placate Senator Matt Canavan.

In recent days the Wiggles announced a new, expanded line up in a bid to bring a greater representation to the Children’s TV program. Upon hearing the news, the senator declared “I just feel like they haven’t expanded to represent me though.”

“They have Red, Blue, Yellow, Purple, why isn’t there the purest of all the colours, white? When I look to TV I only see 99% of people representing me. How am I supposed to go on knowing that some small part of the media landscape isn’t personally catering to me, and me alone?”

“Sure, some might say I’m not the target demographic of the Wiggle’s TV shows,” continued Canavan, “but let me assure you I spend all my time acting like a giant baby.”

However Canavan later refused to watch the show despite the new addition, after he made the horrifying discovery the Wiggles’ Big Red Car runs on electric power.


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